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Being investigated for allegedly giving improper benefits while recruiting new elfs.....just a little humor this morning.
Merry xmas to all!
One of his elves is doing 20 years for scheming millions of dollars from people. I forget the elves name(or dont repeat it). Heard said elf is pounded on the regular by Dasher and Blitzen and that since he has a small, you know, Vixen don't want nothing to do with his broke self.
Envy the past, Fear the future
Saban claus gives his elves LOTS of gifts, and always somehow sneaks through it
Lol that was clever, merry Xmas to you and your family
It's all about the U!
Breaking news... The ncaa is sticking their nose into Christmas. They have suspended Santa indefinitely for providing kids with improper benefits. The ncaa is asking all parents to disassociate themselves from Mr. Claus. They have also issued a bowl ban, cereal that is, for four days. Many are calling this the "death penalty." The White House is calling for change. Obama is threatening to jump off a cliff! The silent majority is backing the president. Congress can't make up their mind to do anything. The Texas Rangers have taken Santa into custody, holding him at the Crawford compound. The reindeer have been shot already. It's huntin season in Texas. In California, the fruits & nuts are calling for a special proposition in the 2016 election. Santa's sled has been taken to the pound in Bronx. Union bosses want a new contract before the sled is released. In New Orleans, they want the reindeer meat for cajan sausage. They just sold the slay to some old folks in St. Petersburg. They are looking for eight reindeer to get the sled to Florida. The Texas Parole Commission is willing to assign an inmate to a prisoner-work exchange that drives vehicles for senior citizens. Santa has gotten the gig because he has prior work experience driving sleds. The are waiting for the sled's registration and plates. inmates in NY should have them by the summer. BP Oil has agreed to fund the whole project if Obama forgives them. A couple of CFB recruits are trying to get to Miami for an OV at the "U". They've agreed to chip in for the gas. The nice old folks said yes and Santa will be released and flown to NY to get the sled. The recruits will meet Santa in Trailorsville and take turns driving. However, the deer are union and won't fly for anyone but Santa, unless there is some motivation in it for them. The kids agree to extra feed. As they cross into Florida, they are stopped by the FHP. Santa is arrested for going 750 mph in a 35 zone. Bail has been set at $50. Nobody puts up the bail. Meanwhile, the deer have been shot, with the meat shipped to New Orleans. While the kids were hitchhiking down the Florida Turnpike, they get picked up by Coach Golden. Shortly, they get pulled over by the ncaa police outside of Hollywood. The ncaa extended Santa's suspension another two years. Golden was sentenced to FIU. The kids eventually made it to Marshall.
edited by Champseeker...
This post has been edited 3 times, most recently by Len Mags 16 months ago
It's five o'clock somewhere!!!
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